in the know

somehow i find out everything. don't ask me how...i don't go asking about it i just find/figure things out. this isn't great sometimes. there are some things you want to know but at the same time don't. at this moment i found something that i needed to know but hurts me knowing. i wonder how i could've been so blind and not seen it before or if i had purposely closed my eyes because i didn't want to believe the reality. right now this completely sucks and hurts. but i guess thats life sometimes.