decisions decisions decisions

mission trip. i get the great privilege of going on another mission trip to peru. i have been there twice before and they have both been unbelievable, overwhelming experiences. this picture here is of my trip last year. it is at an all girls orphanage. the little girl i am holding is named andrea. the whole time there she clung to me which was such an awesome thing. when she went to go get her goodies that we brought she ran back to show me. she gave me the opportunity to just love on her. show her that i cared and that she was special and important. it was such an awesome experience. once we had left i found out she had just been brought there a week before. her mother had left her and she had been taken to this orphanage...the one i would be at a week later. in a new environment and completely unaware of her own surroundings and not knowing who the heck i was she still let me love on her. this is such a hard decision because it is something that i am extremely passionate about. missions, music, and the youth ministry are my 3 passions. i am trying to do what God wants me to do and not just what i want to do...cause if i were doing what i want to do id be on a plane right now. i pray that God grants me the wisdom on what the right decision to make is.

insight anyone???

i love my small group

so tonight i went to college bible study...my monday ritual. i wasnt planning on going tonight because i have a ginormous test tomorrow morning (bright and early...8 am). however with leahs persistence i decided to go. what most people dont know about me is that i am a very to myself kinda person. talking about personal stuff is not me and theres just some things i would rather not subject my ears to. also i dont open up very easily. there are few people who know exactly what is going on in my mind and what really lies under my skin. these "young women" (as carson says) have become a part of my life. i have learned to open up to them when i didnt think i would be able to just because the type of person i am. they have been there to encourage me, help me out when im down in the dumps, make sure i am on the right track with God, and pray for me (the night before a big test). i thank God for placing them in my life. He has always put people in my life when ive needed someone.

well i should be getting back to my studying..woo hoo. well tomorrow is my big test, work, the gym, and then girls night with the girls from small group. tomorrow is looking good. haha. well goodnight for now.

letting go

over a year ago my grandma passed away. its never easy losing a loved one especially when it is sudden and unexpected. tonight i was listening to a song and she popped in my mind. i didnt realize how much i missed her. she was the kind of person who loved everyone. whenever we went out she met someone knew and found a way how they knew someone in common or something. for me, it never really hit me that she was gone until recently. i wasnt able to go to her funeral and since she lived in puerto rico...it just never hit me. i know she is in a better place but i still miss her. i miss her encouragement and love when i got to see her. or how no matter how bad of a mood i was in she always put a smile on my face. its good to reminiscince on the memories. ill always miss her but i know shes watching down on me.


love you grandma.