how true is that. if you don't forgive sins what will you do with them? it will eat you up but it isn't affecting the other person. i know i need to forgive but my anger is taking hold of me. i want to forgive but i don't know how to get over this. i pray for the anger to fade and for me to be able to forgive and instead love. like the verse says, if you don't forgive sins what are you going to do with them? what will i do with them - nothing...time to forgive.
john 20:23
"if you forgive someone's sins, they're gone for good. if you don't forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?" -john 20:23
beautiful ending
so the other day i came across this song "beautiful ending"by barlowgirl. how many times do we let our own selfish wants come between us and God. rather than turning to the one who knows us inside and out we run to the things that only make us fall. he doesn't leave us but instead we divide ourselves from him. "so tell me what is our ending?" what is my ending? i want it to be beautiful. i want to end up in God's arms. sometimes we get so far that we don't know how to turn back but God is always there with open arms. he doesn't separate from us but instead we separate from him. i want to find myself by his side and continue to experience his beautiful love. so what is my ending? i pray for a beautiful ending.
click here for the video
Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
My selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
click here for the video
Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
My selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home
this past weekend I heard a message on the prodigal son. with the things I've gone through recently, I heard it in a completely new light. the 4 major points described God as a God who loves us...
1. when we make foolish choices
2. when we fail
3. while he waits for our return
4. when we come home
that was me. making stupid decisions, failing and trying to find my way back home. I think everyone at one point or another goes through that. it may be for a day, month, or even several years but he is always there waiting for us to come home. I think we sometimes get to that place where you think you can't come home anymore. that you've made too many dumb moves to make your way back.
i heard the song 'where we belong' for the first time this week. the pre-chorus says "your love is never ending, to your hands we surrender, where all our sins are washed away. your grace beyond reason, has paid for our freedom, we're made alive in you." never ending love. grace beyond reason. i don't even know how to comprehend that. it is beyond what I know or can show.
just like the father was outside waiting for the son to return, God waits for us. he waited for me. no one could force him to come home, drag him kicking and screaming the whole way. he had to come to that decision on his own. as hard as it was for the dad, knowing what his son would get into, he had to let him. God lets us make the decisions, even when he knows the outcome, that it is the wrong path, he lets us go and waits for us to return. it is our choice. he waits...that's crazy to me being as I'm such an impatient person and when I see someone falling I want to shake them until they get it but I can't. I can't save anyone just like no one could save me. I had to want to change. it's not easy and it's painful and it's hard to admit you screwed up...but God is there waiting to welcome us home
"whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home"
1. when we make foolish choices
2. when we fail
3. while he waits for our return
4. when we come home
that was me. making stupid decisions, failing and trying to find my way back home. I think everyone at one point or another goes through that. it may be for a day, month, or even several years but he is always there waiting for us to come home. I think we sometimes get to that place where you think you can't come home anymore. that you've made too many dumb moves to make your way back.
i heard the song 'where we belong' for the first time this week. the pre-chorus says "your love is never ending, to your hands we surrender, where all our sins are washed away. your grace beyond reason, has paid for our freedom, we're made alive in you." never ending love. grace beyond reason. i don't even know how to comprehend that. it is beyond what I know or can show.
just like the father was outside waiting for the son to return, God waits for us. he waited for me. no one could force him to come home, drag him kicking and screaming the whole way. he had to come to that decision on his own. as hard as it was for the dad, knowing what his son would get into, he had to let him. God lets us make the decisions, even when he knows the outcome, that it is the wrong path, he lets us go and waits for us to return. it is our choice. he waits...that's crazy to me being as I'm such an impatient person and when I see someone falling I want to shake them until they get it but I can't. I can't save anyone just like no one could save me. I had to want to change. it's not easy and it's painful and it's hard to admit you screwed up...but God is there waiting to welcome us home
"whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home"
Expect the unexpected
Last night I found out that someone I really care about is enlisting in the navy. Don't get me wong...I admire those who protect our country but it pulled the rug from under me so to speak. How do you deal with those who go off into the army, navy, coast guard? You want to support them but at the same time say don't leave. There are also all the things left unsaid. Do you say them or wait until the next time you see them hoping you are given the chance? I want to be supportive and to embrace this decision I just am not sure how to act right now. I'm about to lose someone who is close to me...how do you let them go? I think right now I'm more in a state of unbelief than anything. I am so proud of this person. Total shocker right now
forgive yourself
romans 5:3-4
we can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us -- they help us learn to endure. and endurance develops strength of character in us.
right now i am learning to endure. these past couple weeks have been the hardest i've ever gone through. a little explanation...i made a really really really dumb decision and am having to deal with the consequences. im not going to get into details. because of my stupid choices i lost the things that matter to me the most--leading the worship band, helping out at church, in theRUSH, my reputation. i screwed up...i feel like i should be the poster girl for ivescrewedup.com. it is the worst feeling in the world to have to look at those who you've looked up to, your mentors, and have to tell them you made a mistake. to have the disappointment just be seen on their faces and to know you've not only let them down but you've let down yourself. i know God has forgiven me because he is a loving and forgiving father but people keep telling me i need to forgive myself. how do you do that? how do you forgive yourself when you know that it was your own fault that you lost everything? how do you forgive yourself when you know that you could have made the right choice but you didnt? how do you forgive yourself when you sit there apologizing to people and knowing that this didn't have to happen? if you could answer that for me maybe i could forgive myself. but i'm having a really hard time doing that. i know i'm not perfect and i'm bound to make mistakes but it doesn't make it any easier. i messed up and put myself into my own ditch. yes, i've learned my lesson...ok more like a thousand lessons. and i am developing strength of character in myself. but the situation still sucks...and there is no one to blame but myself.
so my ultimate question. how do you forgive yourself when you don't feel worthy of being forgiven?
we can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us -- they help us learn to endure. and endurance develops strength of character in us.
right now i am learning to endure. these past couple weeks have been the hardest i've ever gone through. a little explanation...i made a really really really dumb decision and am having to deal with the consequences. im not going to get into details. because of my stupid choices i lost the things that matter to me the most--leading the worship band, helping out at church, in theRUSH, my reputation. i screwed up...i feel like i should be the poster girl for ivescrewedup.com. it is the worst feeling in the world to have to look at those who you've looked up to, your mentors, and have to tell them you made a mistake. to have the disappointment just be seen on their faces and to know you've not only let them down but you've let down yourself. i know God has forgiven me because he is a loving and forgiving father but people keep telling me i need to forgive myself. how do you do that? how do you forgive yourself when you know that it was your own fault that you lost everything? how do you forgive yourself when you know that you could have made the right choice but you didnt? how do you forgive yourself when you sit there apologizing to people and knowing that this didn't have to happen? if you could answer that for me maybe i could forgive myself. but i'm having a really hard time doing that. i know i'm not perfect and i'm bound to make mistakes but it doesn't make it any easier. i messed up and put myself into my own ditch. yes, i've learned my lesson...ok more like a thousand lessons. and i am developing strength of character in myself. but the situation still sucks...and there is no one to blame but myself.
so my ultimate question. how do you forgive yourself when you don't feel worthy of being forgiven?
