lately i have been stuck in a rut...just lagging through life at the moment. i dont know what i want to do and dont feel as if i "fit" anywhere right now. i miss feeling passionate and on fire about something. i want to know what it is i should be doing.
the verse jeremiah 29:13 has been in my mind the past couple days
"you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
that is what i plan to do. seek God and know that he will get me out of my rut and place me where it is he wants me to be and doing what he wants me to do.
stay with me
have you ever been at a time in your life when everything is going wrong and you just wish God would snap his fingers and fix everything? im at the breaking point. i know that i need to wait on God's timing, not my own, i just feel completely out of strength and fight. this song is what is getting me through this time. i just bought the new barlow girl cd and the song stay with me was exactly what i needed right now when feeling as desperate for God as I am.
Hope is getting through this night | And life is not dying in this fight | Begging You to deliver me Confused why You won’t take this pain from me My steps never felt so hard | The end never looked so far but | If You won’t take me out | then please take me through this | Chorus | Stay with me So I won’t leave | And make me see | That this is not forever | ‘Cause all I need is Your love pulling me What is the reason for this night? | Is hope found in moments with no light? | Does strength grow in our greatest fears? | God I pray something good will come from this pain | My steps never felt so hard | The end never looked so far but | If you won’t take me out | then please take me through this | Chorus | With you here I know | I don’t go alone | I am yours and so | Through the fire I’ll go | My steps never felt so hard | The end never looked so far but | If you won’t take me out then please take me through this | Chorus 2x
how awesome is this..."if you won't take me out then please take me through this". that's my prayer right now. i'm dealing with all of this stuff now for a reason. it is completely beyond me and has been taking every ounce of strength i have but i know God is there with me and in control no matter how impossible the situation seems at the moment.
then please take me through this. stay with me.
john 20:23
"if you forgive someone's sins, they're gone for good. if you don't forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?" -john 20:23
how true is that. if you don't forgive sins what will you do with them? it will eat you up but it isn't affecting the other person. i know i need to forgive but my anger is taking hold of me. i want to forgive but i don't know how to get over this. i pray for the anger to fade and for me to be able to forgive and instead love. like the verse says, if you don't forgive sins what are you going to do with them? what will i do with them - nothing...time to forgive.
beautiful ending
so the other day i came across this song "beautiful ending"by barlowgirl. how many times do we let our own selfish wants come between us and God. rather than turning to the one who knows us inside and out we run to the things that only make us fall. he doesn't leave us but instead we divide ourselves from him. "so tell me what is our ending?" what is my ending? i want it to be beautiful. i want to end up in God's arms. sometimes we get so far that we don't know how to turn back but God is always there with open arms. he doesn't separate from us but instead we separate from him. i want to find myself by his side and continue to experience his beautiful love. so what is my ending? i pray for a beautiful ending.
click here for the video
Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
My selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
click here for the video
Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
My selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home
this past weekend I heard a message on the prodigal son. with the things I've gone through recently, I heard it in a completely new light. the 4 major points described God as a God who loves us...
1. when we make foolish choices
2. when we fail
3. while he waits for our return
4. when we come home
that was me. making stupid decisions, failing and trying to find my way back home. I think everyone at one point or another goes through that. it may be for a day, month, or even several years but he is always there waiting for us to come home. I think we sometimes get to that place where you think you can't come home anymore. that you've made too many dumb moves to make your way back.
i heard the song 'where we belong' for the first time this week. the pre-chorus says "your love is never ending, to your hands we surrender, where all our sins are washed away. your grace beyond reason, has paid for our freedom, we're made alive in you." never ending love. grace beyond reason. i don't even know how to comprehend that. it is beyond what I know or can show.
just like the father was outside waiting for the son to return, God waits for us. he waited for me. no one could force him to come home, drag him kicking and screaming the whole way. he had to come to that decision on his own. as hard as it was for the dad, knowing what his son would get into, he had to let him. God lets us make the decisions, even when he knows the outcome, that it is the wrong path, he lets us go and waits for us to return. it is our choice. he waits...that's crazy to me being as I'm such an impatient person and when I see someone falling I want to shake them until they get it but I can't. I can't save anyone just like no one could save me. I had to want to change. it's not easy and it's painful and it's hard to admit you screwed up...but God is there waiting to welcome us home
"whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home"
1. when we make foolish choices
2. when we fail
3. while he waits for our return
4. when we come home
that was me. making stupid decisions, failing and trying to find my way back home. I think everyone at one point or another goes through that. it may be for a day, month, or even several years but he is always there waiting for us to come home. I think we sometimes get to that place where you think you can't come home anymore. that you've made too many dumb moves to make your way back.
i heard the song 'where we belong' for the first time this week. the pre-chorus says "your love is never ending, to your hands we surrender, where all our sins are washed away. your grace beyond reason, has paid for our freedom, we're made alive in you." never ending love. grace beyond reason. i don't even know how to comprehend that. it is beyond what I know or can show.
just like the father was outside waiting for the son to return, God waits for us. he waited for me. no one could force him to come home, drag him kicking and screaming the whole way. he had to come to that decision on his own. as hard as it was for the dad, knowing what his son would get into, he had to let him. God lets us make the decisions, even when he knows the outcome, that it is the wrong path, he lets us go and waits for us to return. it is our choice. he waits...that's crazy to me being as I'm such an impatient person and when I see someone falling I want to shake them until they get it but I can't. I can't save anyone just like no one could save me. I had to want to change. it's not easy and it's painful and it's hard to admit you screwed up...but God is there waiting to welcome us home
"whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. please come home"
